Getting through the holidays can be difficult when you're divorced, and just when they seem to be over and you think you can breathe easy, here comes Valentine's Day! A celebration of love? Yeah, right! For a man or woman who is divorced, celebrating love is very hard to do. That is, of course, unless you know the secret...

I've heard people say they avoid the "pink" isles in stores at all costs. I've heard some say they take the money they would have spent on their spouses and spend it on themselves instead. One woman even went so far as to send herself a bouquet of roses to her office with an "anonymous admirer" note to defray the embarrassment of her divorce in front of others. Okay, it's entirely reasonable to not want to be embarrassed or feel bad. But what is everyone trying to accomplish in doing these things? It's simple. They want to believe they are desireable, valuable, and worthy of being loved. Do you know what the secret to finding that kind of peace of mind is?

Valentine's Day is actually a feast day in honor of St. Valentine (Valentinus) which began in the year 496 AD. Valentinus was a Roman priest who married Christian couples in secret and gave aid to other Christians during this time of persecution. He was actually brutally beaten and then beheaded for refusing to renounce his faith. In this day and age, one might wonder what would make someone want to die instead of disavow their faith? Well, St. Valentinus knew the secret, and that was why he was ready to die in an instant for his faith.

The secret is simple - finding your self-worth in Christ. Understanding how much He loves you - how much He sacrificed for you. Try to imagine being passionately loved... the most wildly passionate love you have ever dreamed of. Now realize that this is how God loves you. You are worth everything to Him and He demonstrated that when He hung on the cross and gave you everything He had to give. You are the one He wants and He pursues you at every moment of the day. He wants to give you the love, peace and happiness you've been waiting for.

God created us with one purpose - to be with Him in heaven. Until that day, our lives are spent seeking that happiness. The secret to being happy on earth is looking to God for that fulfillment, not looking to find it in others. Part of the reason why people date, marry, divorce, and start all over again is because they are searching for the fulfillment, peace and happiness that only Christ can bring us. This is not to say that dating and marriage are bad - no, on the contrary - but when our spouses fail us we should remember that they are imperfect humans, just as we are, and they cannot fulfill us in the way God's love can. Valentinus was happy to die because he knew the love of Christ and being with Him in heaven was worth far more than anything the world could offer him. And it still holds true today. Nothing we can get here on earth - not valentines, not roses, not chocolates, not relationships - can match the love and generosity of God.

So this Valentine's Day, focus on God's love for you. Take some time, preferably in the morning when it's quiet, and sit with God. Ask Him to help you find your strength and self-worth in His love. Ask Him to increase your faith! Share with Him all your worries, hurts, concerns and hopes. He loves you and he will bless you for it!

by Lisa Duffy