So many of you have shared, either through email or survey comments, just how difficult a time you have had with your divorce. During this season of Lent, and especially because tomorrow is Good Friday, I wanted to share with you some thoughts for reflection.

When you have a few minutes to yourself and can find a quiet place, close your eyes and imagine the scene of the Last Supper. Try and place yourself at the table with Jesus and the disciples. Take a look around and see the table with all the food, the bread and wine, the candles. Watch the disciples deep in discussion. Look at Jesus sitting at the head of the table and you will see that, although He is with the ones He loves so much, His heart is full of sorrow. He knows Judas will betray Him, and soon. He knows Peter will deny Him three times. He knows that the rest of them will run away and hide in fear when He needs their support the most. Yet Jesus still treats them with love and great care. Christ understands you well because He has suffered as you have. He knows the pain you suffer because of your divorce. He knows how difficult it is for you to think or say anything good about the one(s) who has betrayed you. He knows your anger and disappointment. As the disciples go on about their discussion, Jesus meets your gaze and His eyes encourage you to be strong.

Follow Christ to the Garden of Gethsemane where he sweats blood under the weight of what is about to happen. Jesus is so distressed that he prays, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me . . ." He knows how you feel when you are overwhelmed - the hurt, the anger, the shame - He knows. And yet, His words show us the way to courage: "Yet not as I will, but as You will " (Matthew 26:39).

Comment (0) Read More...

One of the painful realities for parents going through a divorce is that their children cannot be completely sheltered from the pain of the separation and loss. And there are no easy answers for the many questions each parent has to deal with. When do you tell the children? How do you tell them? How can you be supportive without prying or being too pushy? How do the children's needs differ depending on their ages and genders?
Any parent faced with these questions should be open to getting as much counsel and advice as possible because no two situations or children are the same. Even among professionals, the determination of the best interests of children experiencing divorce is a complex and emotionally taxing experience. Fortunately, an increasing number of resources are available to help parents understand and deal with children's experience of divorce. One particularly comprehensive resource is What about the Kids? by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee. Books like this can provide specific advice on the issues faced by children of different ages and help you explain the issues in ways each child can understand. In addition, here are a few general principles on helping children deal with divorce. Read more here.
One of the painful realities for parents going through a divorce is that their children cannot be completely sheltered from the pain of the separation and loss. And there are no easy answers for the many questions each parent has to deal with. When do you tell the children? How do you tell them? How can you be supportive without prying or being too pushy? How do the children?s needs differ depending on their ages and genders?
Any parent faced with these questions should be open to getting as much counsel and advice as possible because no two situations or children are the same. Even among professionals, the determination of the best interests of children experiencing divorce is a complex and emotionally taxing experience.

Fortunately, an increasing number of resources are available to help parents understand and deal with children?s experience of divorce. One particularly comprehensive resource is "What about the Kids?" by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee. Books like this can provide specific advice on the issues faced by children of different ages and help you explain the issues in ways each child can understand. In addition, here are a few general principles on helping children deal with divorce.

1. Maintain an open and ongoing dialogue.

Comment (0) Read More...